Director Comey,
Ewbank, Hennigh & McVay, PLLC would like to formally extend an invitation to join our firm. While we have not conducted a formal background check, we rest assured your background will prove acceptable. As you may have heard, Ewbank, Hennigh & McVay, PLLC is a law firm headquartered in Enid, OK with an office in Laverne. These may not be the large metropolitan areas in which you are most familiar practicing law, but we believe we can offer a much more intellectually “upright” experience.
A little about us. The founding partners, Andrew “Drew” Ewbank, Kaleb Hennigh and Dalen McVay, each grew up in small towns in Northwest Oklahoma. After law school we each decided this part of the world is the best place on the planet to raise our kids. We formed this firm 6 years ago, officially opening on this day, May 11, in 2011. Since that time we have maintained absolutely NO contact with Russia. That should be a relief. North Korea is certainly turned on to our influence, and tried to hack our server, offering many millions of dollars through the use of a spoof email. However, our IT security is top-notch. North Korea’s attempts were thwarted quickly and effectively. Our server is located on premises. Neither Drew, Dalen, nor Kaleb have a server at home. We each use our @ericw53.sg-host.com email domain for all firm business. As far as we are aware, none of our employees have ever met on the tarmac of an airport with any clients. In the interest of full disclosure, we have bumped into clients at the airport in Vegas, but we are not allowed to speak of the encounter.
From a philosophical point of view, you will not have to navigate wildly different political views. We each identify simply as Americans. We want what is best for our clients regardless of the “R” or “D” or “L” or “I” or “G” appearing after their names on their birth certificates and found in blood type geno-mapping. This certainly allows us to practice with a focus on the issues, not on making ideologues comfortable in their own choices.
Coming from the US Attorney’s Office and the FBI, we think you will find our criminal practice area most rewarding. Many of our criminal clients are hard-working, good people who have either made a mistake, and take responsibility for that mistake, or are people who are subject to honest, but unintentionally over-reaching, prosecution of local prosecutors. This will be different from working with and investigating narcissistic politicians. The scale of our clients’ cases is such that you will not have to worry about the many and well-connected “friends” coming after you for each and every decision you make.
However, we have a hard and fast rule: We do not, ever, speak of our clients cases in the middle of an investigation. “Media narrative” is rarely an element in our cases, so this should be a non-issue.
EHM offers competitive salary package, including paid vacation, IRA matches, health insurance, and a fun working environment. We understand our salary offer may not match that of your prior positions. However, we structure our associates pay in such a way to highlight and encourage production of quality work for our clients. Unlike government jobs where your pay is held down by artificial tiers focusing on time of service, the sky is the limit here. Imagine the excitement of your earnings being determined on your great work product, not how long you have used the same government issued stapler!
We look forward to working with you, please contact us directly to arrange your plans for arrival here in the office.
