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Divorce

Chairman of the Board for Greater Enid Chamber, Dalen McVay

Dalen D. McVay of Ewbank, Hennigh & McVay, PLLC has recently been designated as Chairman of the Board for the Greater Enid Chamber of Commerce. After two years as the Education Chair for the executive committee of the Chamber, Dalen is excited to step up and serve in a greater capacity. “Our firm is committed to being active in the community and serving on boards and committees.  With offices in Fairview and Laverne, Enid is the place we’ve all chosen to make our home. We’ll continue to do all we can to make Enid an even greater place to reside.”

Below is a copy of Dalen’s letter which was published in the Greater Enid Chamber of Commerce’s July newsletter.

Coming from a small town in the Panhandle, I thought Enid would be “too big.” My wife is from Edmond, and she feared Enid would be “too small.” Instead, we love it here and Enid is the place we’ll retire. It’s a good sized town with a small-town feel. We are truly blessed to be able to raise our three kids in such a wonderful community. I’m honored to serve as the Chairman for the Greater Enid Chamber of Commerce for the 2017-2018 year. After serving two years on the Chamber Executive Committee, I’ve seen many benefits the Chamber is able to provide to its members and the local community. I look forward to not only furthering my commitment to the board, but to Enid as well. Each year the Chamber publishes a three year “strategic plan.” Some of the main focuses this year are on: Supporting education and workforce development throughout the local community; Supporting Vance Air force Base; Promoting state and federal legislative initiatives that benefit Enid and Northwest Oklahoma; And support Enid’s retail market share through programs and expansion. With the help of the community and especially the Chamber members, the Greater Enid Chamber of Commerce will continue to enhance the quality of life in Enid and keep Enid thriving.

-Dalen McVay, Chairman of the Board

 

 

5 Tips for to Successfully Co-Parent

5 Tips to Successfully Co-Parent

Custody disputes often occur during children’s breaks from school– spring break, summer break and holiday breaks. Issues arise because when parents aim to spend more with their children and struggle to follow the custody layout.

Change is difficult, especially for children. Here are five tips to help avoid arguments and successfully co-parent.

1. Communication is Key
Plan drop-offs and pick-ups ahead of time. Review every detail and make it a goal to overcommunicate in these situations. They’ll help eliminate any misunderstandings moving forward. Set a time and place where you’ll meet and follow through on those plans. The more things are communicated beforehand, the fewer arguments there will be when exchanging the children. Additionally, make sure to go over any medications the children need to take, any schedules they need to follow, or any activities you need to take them to. This will shift the exchange to the child’s benefit.

2. Be Realistic
Custody agreements can be difficult for every person involved, parents and children alike. It is important to be realistic with your time, finances and your situation. Make sure there is always a plan set in place for visitations that fit your lifestyle — and that you can accommodate long visits from the children.

3. Involve Your Children
Although the last call will always be with the parents, making sure your children understand what’s happening and are involved in the communication process is important. Make sure they know when they’re going to be with the other parent and when they’re going to come back. Talk to them about any questions or concerns they may have and eliminate any stress that your children may be having regarding the custody agreement.

4. Make it About Your Children
Many times, custody agreements many times stem from resentment in the marriage but have nothing to do with actual parenting. Divorce can be very hard on children. The more you make decisions about them rather than the emotions, it makes the decision-making process a little easier. If your children are going to a safe and happy home environment with their other parent, you have to allow them to enjoy their time together as well.

5. Smile
Smiling during the exchange of your children reassures them that you are okay with them being with the other parent. The more your children feel you’re okay with the arrangement, the more they will be okay with it as well. Divorce is extremely difficult and it can play a toll on the kids, but making sure you are doing your best to make it easy for them will go a long way.

What other tips do you have to co-parent? Share your ideas and stories with us below in the comments and give us a call with any questions.

580-234-4334

Divorces Are Already Tough Enough

At Ewbank, Hennigh & McVay, PLLC we help a lot of people through the difficult divorce process.

Divorce is not easy.

However, here we are in another legislative session, and, as in prior years, Oklahoma’s legislature is trying to make divorces more expensive.  HB1277 is the newest attempt to drive costs up and pad divorce statistics in Oklahoma.  Let’s face it.  These bills are not designed to help Oklahomans.  Instead, the intent is to artificially reduce the number of divorces reported in some report so our legislators can point to these bogus numbers about how their efforts are helping Oklahoma families.  It’s the typical smoke and mirrors. Frankly, it’s BS.

This bill would require each party pay their own costs and attorney’s fees unless one party can prove the other party caused the divorce by through:

Abandonment,

Adultery,

Impotency,

The wife being pregnant by another man at the time of marriage,

Extreme cruelty,

Fraudulent contract,

Habitual drunkenness or habitual substance abuse,

Gross neglect of duty,

Blah, Blah Blah…

Here’s how it works.  

If the wife can prove the man was impotent (just to grab one), then she can get her attorney’s fees and costs awarded to her.  Oh wait, there’s more.  In addition to her fees, the Judge would be REQUIRED to only give the man 1/4 of the property of the marriage, and give the wife the other 3/4.  Maybe the testosterone lobby is pushing this bill?

The bill also has a fun requirement that if the stated reason for the divorce is incompatibility, the family must attend counseling (for which they must pay), and the divorce cannot be finalized for 6 months.  Great,  we are going to artificially require people to suffer through another 6 months of a failed marriage.  I am sure the kids will love that.  I bet dinner time would be awkward…

Here is the text of the bill:  http://webserver1.lsb.state.ok.us/cf_pdf/2017-18%20FLR/HFLR/HB1277%20HFLR.PDF

Listen, we make money on divorces.  Most people probably think lawyers would jump at the chance to make more money on divorces.  We don’t.  This bill is bad for people. Our goal is to help our clients gets the best result for their situation.  We cannot support anything that artificially makes divorces more difficult for our clients.

You can call your legislature, but it probably won’t do any good.  Us voters didn’t know what we were voting on during the criminal reforms last year, so the legislature is actively working through legislation to override our vote.  Likewise, our Legislature knows better how to handle our marriages than we do.  Uhhmm, Mr. Representative, can I go to the bathroom now?

TBT: Dalen McVay

DALEN MCVAY

2015-03-12_0001
  • Dalen played football, basketball and baseball and was named male athlete of the year both junior and senior year at Turpin High School.
  • When not working, he enjoys spending time with his family, hunting, fishing and playing sports with his boys.
  • When we asked Dalen about something most people don’t know about him he responded with

    “My Bachelor’s Degree is in Funeral Science and I was a funeral director before attending graduate school at Iowa State. ”

    Dalen is one of 3 partners to the firm. At Ewbank, Hennigh & McVay, Dalen focuses on Divorce, Child Custody, Guardianship & Civil Litigation CasesFor details on Dalen McVay, check out his BIO. 

3 Things Your Divorce Lawyer Isn’t Telling You

Divorce is never easy. That being said, this article is spot on:

Screenshot 2014-11-25 17.57.36

While writing If Divorce is a Game, These are the Rules, I had the great pleasure of interviewing many — many! — divorce attorneys. My goal was to uncover the things people going through a divorce were great at, as well as the things they could do better.

What I didn’t share in the book was some of the more direct and blunt feedback I was given. During almost every interview, the attorney would ask, “Do you want to know what I really want to tell them?” My answer, of course, was “Yes!”

While I’m not privy to your divorce attorney’s private thoughts, I can provide what several dozen attorneys shared with me over the course of our conversations. Specifically, there are three things your divorce lawyer probably isn’t telling you, and by doing them, both of you — heck, all parties involved, will have a more positive and effortless divorce experience.

A word of warning: Fail to implement them and you’re making your life, and your divorce, a lot tougher on yourself.

Divorce Attorney Tip #1: Come prepared. Prior to your initial meeting, you were most likely advised to organize and bring specific documents that would help your attorney get started on your case. But it was surprising to me to hear that the majority of first appointments were a complete waste of time and money due to lack of preparedness. “One client showed up with a grocery sack full of miscellaneous papers, including a People Magazine, and a half-eaten candy bar. We spent two hours sorting through the paperwork to get it organized enough to use.” Take the time you need, prior to your initial meeting, to collect and organize the documents requested by your attorney. They are necessary for your attorney to complete their work efficiently and effectively (which means a less expensive divorce bill for you).

Divorce Attorney Tip #2: Get a therapist or a divorce coach. The number one frustration of divorce attorneys everywhere, according to the dozens I spoke to, is that their clients tell them every non-legal happening.“He’s screwing his secretary.” “He gave the kids ice-cream for breakfast.” “I don’t understand why she gets her nails done three times a week.” Yes, those are undoubtedly frustrating during the most frustrating and emotion-filled time of your life. But they have nothing to do with your attorney, they aren’t legal in nature, and it doesn’t help your attorney to know them. In fact, when you call your attorney to complain to them about your soon-to-be ex, two things happen. One, you spend multiples of the amount of money a great therapist would charge to listen and help you process your anger. Two, your attorney doesn’t want to hear it and will eventually label you high-maintenance, hesitate to take your calls or avoid talking to you altogether. In other words: use your attorney for legal-related matters only, and hire a therapist and/or coach specifically trained to help you process your divorce. It will cost less in the long-run and the results will be much better.

Divorce Attorney Tip #3: Be prepared to pay. As one attorney put it, “My clients sometimes seem to think there is ‘divorce life’ and ‘regular life.'” In regular life, you pay your bills on time, act logically and treat people with respect. In divorce life, you act irrationally, demand unreasonable outcomes and fail to pay your divorce attorney on time. No money plus nasty clients equals no work done on your divorce. Think about your long-term plan, how much you can realistically afford to pay for your divorce, and be ready and able to stay current on your legal bill. Your attorney has bills, too, and running up a large bill without regular payment puts your attorney in a tough spot. A nice client who pays their bill has a much easier time in the divorce process overall.

Bonus tip: If, up to this point, you have failed to do some or all of these things, take a moment to stop and write a thank you note for what you attorney has done so far. A little gratitude goes a long way.

Remember this: Divorce attorneys are people too, and they want to focus on making sure they get everything done right for you during your divorce.

Honorée Corder is the author of If Divorce is a Game, These are the Rules. You can learn more about her on her website at HonoreeCorder.com.

FULL ARTICLE HERE:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/honoree-corder/3-things-your-divorce-law_b_6120170.html

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